Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Today's JAR, Just a Reminder- The Math of Pain, It Just Adds Up.

I bet I could write an entire blog just on my dad and his parenting skills.   He had the best way to teach us about life.  He thought it was really important for us to think for ourselves.  We weren't taught to be proud of ourselves, but we were expected to be smart or get smart. 

For example, when we were kids, if one of us got hurt, bumped our head or had a tooth ache, he'd say, "Come here so I can step on your toe." 

You might think that sounds cruel, and to whiney kids, it wasn't the response we were looking for.  But I think back and I can't miss the lesson he was teaching us, beside the obvious, "Don't be a whiner."  If it even takes one time for him to step on toes, most kids know one pain doesn't make another pain go away.  You just end up with two pains. 

And there are times I look back at the choices I've made and the situations I've been in and I can honestly say, it's better to sit with one pain than to end up with two. 

So, thanks, Dad! You had your moments of brilliance. 

Oh, and I have been enjoying teaching this lesson to my son.  Luckily he catches on quickly.


Sophia said...

The "step on your toe" comment made me smile. It DOES sound cruel and definitely not very comforting...but it is very "Baba-esque." Reminds me of my father and his cruel-but-not-really parenting style. My son & I are living with Yiayia & Papou now as my husband and I (hopefully?) work some things out between us. Hearing my father talk to Gabriel stirs up a lot of memories for me. It's definitely a parenting style that feels a lot less "warm & fuzzy" than it is. But I think I turned out OK and I know Gabriel will benefit from Papou's wisdom, too... :) I really enjoyed this blog post, thank you! A side note--before I began to read, I was having a sad moment wishing I was home and everything was OK and normal again. But, we are not healed yet. After a lot of traumatic events in 2013 (like his job loss, for instance)....all of these "pains" and probably the worst I could do right now is move back home and reintroduce Gabriel to a lot of stress, arguing, and anger. So I think we'll stay here a bit longer...no sense in having our toes stepped on, if we can help it!! xoxo

Vassi said...

Yes! Watch your toes. And I pray all is mended soon.